Friday, May 19, 2124

Speculative Satire from the Future

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The Mars State Fair Sees Many Galactic Party Candidates but Only One Zorgon

MARS - The expansive Martian terrain was abuzz with the hustle and bustle of the Mars State Fair last weekend, the galaxies most-attended gathering of public officials, candidates, and citizens alike - now a tradition carried on for over a century and deep into the cosmos.The highlight of the weekend, without a doubt, was the continued charismatic performance from the dashing emerald-eyed Zorgon IX. Despite countless affairs on a plethora of planets and numerous political gaffes (the Epsilon Eridani Tax Scandal still fresh in many minds), Zorgon persistently holds an air of invincibility around him. His rival, Diren SixThumb, despite his three pairs of arms granting him physical advantage in the obligatory CornDog eating context, failed to match Zorgon's gravitational pull. Diren's solid ground game of ensuring the eradication of space pirates from the Pleiades sector was commendable but paled in comparison to Zorgon's grandeur promises - lifetime supply of Martian corn for everyone and interplanetary peace by year-end.In proving his points, Zorgon even resurrected the long-dead tradition of physical handshakes, a gesture almost phantasmic in an era of two-dimensional interaction. Apart from the scene-stealers, the fair also saw many lesser candidates struggling to make their mark such as Zeeblee the Floatopian, Koojura of Alpha Centauri and Ssslyth, the famous snake-like representative from Orion's Belt.Decidedly, the Mars State Fair was the Super Bowl of quantum politicking - political champions pitted against each other, battling in an era where elections cross galaxies and constituencies span supernovas.Surely, as another fair concludes in the glittering red dust of Mars, it illustrates how far we've journeyed from Earthbound fairs and territorial politics. The vast expanse of our democracy now touches corners of the cosmos our ancestors only dreamed of reaching.
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