Speculative Satire from the Future

Century City (formerly known as Montgomery), Alabama 2122 - The Ministry of Judicious Departure (MJD) in Alabama, a state within the Republic of Southern States in former America, made a radical move last week when they announced a new approach to the methods of life departures for befitting individuals. The controversial method, ironically named Humanely Falling Asleep (HFA), has the rest of the world scratching its heads at the retrogressive course of events.As an elaborate procedure entailing genetic coding to stimulate natural death in a state of deep sleep, the HFA approach is causing an uproar due to its humaneness, a concept considered too 'soft' for the needs of animal euthanasia a century ago. 'Concerning?' mused Zephrine Holowchak, a renowned authority in Bio-Ethics and Pro-Robo rights activist. 'I'd say it's fascinatingly disconcerting. Today, even our robo pets have rights to depart with dignity and respect.' A frighteningly valid point, considering robo pets today have resources for a noble shutdown, a notion that the people of 2022 wouldn't have fathomed.Astoundingly, the decision gets more bewildering when we remember we live in an era where penal servitude, largely viewed as an antiquated and inhumane concept, was abolished decades ago after the Great Awakening of 2074. Regal Johnson, Director of MJD, defended the decision, stating, 'What's so barbaric about offering dignity at the moment of evaluation? If robo pets and AI units can have an honored shutdown, why not humans?'The process remains highly disputed, as many view it as a step back into a time when society was more responsive to the death penalty - a time when Alabama, in fact, was one of the staunchest advocates for capital punishment. Elsewhere, the Amalgamated States of New America (ASNA) rejected the idea outright. 'It's as preposterous as driving gasoline cars or being afraid of cloned meat,' scoffed the ASNA's Minister of Life Cycle Affairs, Bin Zhou.Meanwhile, scholars worldwide are left flummoxed by this peculiar resurgence of what used to be an age-old debate about the death penalty, albeit with a refined, 'humanized' twist that no one saw coming. It remains to be seen how Alabama navigates the extradimensional pressure and the ethical paradox this new method of life departure presents.