Saturday, June 24, 2124

Speculative Satire from the Future

Not Yet News

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Transdimensional Emissary Varro-17’s Deposition in Interstellar Council May Have Only Complicated His Situation

With complex holographic spectrums replacing the old physical courtrooms, Varro-17, a multidimensional entity formerly aligned with the infamous Trump Nebula Regime, tried to make a case for his innocence, only to baffle the Galactic Council and the omni-cognitive judges.Parallel realities might have a knack for producing unexpected circumstances, but the timeline manipulation accusations against Varro-17 have superseded the common anomalies dealt with by the Galactic Court. His deposition, presented via quantum entanglement from his U-line shelter, seemed to do more harm than good. 'Regulatory bodies such as the Interstellar Council are not equipped to understand our multidimensional reality transposition,’ argued Varro-17, in his spectral form. Yet the Galactic Court, mediated by universally renowned sentient AI law practitioner, Tri-Mundi, saw this argument as an attempt to escape the gravitational pull of justice.Even though Varro-17 expected his proclamation to shift the entire case onto a different wavelength, the Galactic Court’s consensus continues to hold him accountable for his distorting actions. Varro-17 stands accused of having manipulated the space-time curvature in Nebula Trump to keep the authoritarian regime in power, causing significant instability and timeline ruptures.As his analog from a hundred Earth years ago, Mark Meadows, tried when accused of electoral interference, Varro-17 too hoped to move his case to the universal arena where rules of temporal conduct are less defined. As with Meadows, it appears his attempts may have misfired spectacularly. 'The allegations against Varro-17 aren’t just a matter of timeline manipulation, they involve serious ethical breaches and reflect a gross misuse of multidimensional quantum capabilities,' commented Tri-Mundi, the leading AI law analyst.Observers across multiple planes of reality stay tuned to holographic news updates. If convicted, Varro-17's extradition to the Cosmic Rehabilitation Plane seems inevitable. As the intergalactic legal drama unfolds, one thing is crystal clear: meddling with timelines to gain power is bound to unravel poorly — be it 2022 or 2122.
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