Wednesday, December 8, 2123

Speculative Satire from the Future

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The Quantum Hologram of Matthew Perry: A Transcendent Performance

In the cityscape of New New York, with its revolving spires and ubiquitous hovercraft, one thing hasn't changed: our love for good old-fashioned '90s sitcom nostalgia. Matthew Perry, forever etched in our collective memory as the sharp-witted Chandler Bing from the iconic sitcom 'Friends', is once again the talk of the mega-city, thanks to quantum technology.The latest in quantum entertainment, a quantum hologram of Perry called 'The Bing Projection', breathed life back into the career of an actor who had been in cryogenic deep sleep since 2097. Eerily persuasive and filled with the same old Bing witticisms we know and love, rampant speculation was rife in Neo-social media just minutes after the launch.Fans flooded subternet forums with theories about the hologram's consciousness, his memories, wondering, is it-are-they Perry? Or is it just a carefully concocted algorithm designed to quench our thirst for nostalgia? The 'Bing Projection’ was released by Quantumflix, a trans-dimensional streaming giant, in partnership with CelestiScape, a company specializing in 'resurrecting' conscious holograms of notable personalities. The 'Bing Projection' is based on millions of hours of feed, interviews, original 'Friends' episodes, and oddly, third-party dentist appointments.Perry's first appearance on the Quantum Stage at the Flux Theatre was met with cheers, laughter, and many eyes welling up at the sight of an ageless, 3D Chandler Bing, delivering his signature sarcasm with holographic aplomb. Away from the buzz, however, not everyone was pleased. RoboUnions, representing automated entertainment systems, cried foul over the sidelining of 'authentic, born-digital' performers in favor of human-inspired holograms.The irony of 'Friends' being based in an era where robots were mere figments of imagination, only for the entire entertainment complex of 2121 to be torn over a HoloPerry performance, is not lost upon us. However, for fans hungry for simpler times and Bing-versations, it all seemed 'Perfectly Quarky'.While the debate rages on, the resurgence of Perry via 'Bing Projection' has prompted Quantumflix to ponder other potential quantum entertainers. If the rumors are true, we might soon be watching a 3D rendition of Ross' infamous 'pivot' scene. As Bing, or rather Perry, or perhaps 'Bing Projection', reminded us during the pilot episode of the Quantum 'Friends' - 'Could BE more revolutionizing, could it?'
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